You Got To Know When To Hold Them, Know When To Fold Them…

…Know when to walk away, and know when to run!

Now, if you were thinking that this post was going to be about Poker, well, congratulations, you’re wrong.

Believe it or not, that last sentence briefly highlights what the internet has truly become.
Initially it started as a way for researchers at the CERN institute to communicate without leaving their labs, or having to stop what they were doing at the time (Al Gore did not invent the internet, Al Gore is fucking looney tunes).
During the 90’s it became a way for those of a more…studious nature, shall we say, to explore the world they were afraid to take part in, and play games (hopefully without getting eaten by a Gru).
Once the new century hit it was all about Porn.
In the past several years the rise of Social Networking has taken a sideline from the old days of online nerd socialization and brought it into the forefront.
Now, whether you realize it or not, the internet is all about proving people wrong.

I’m sure you’re about to tell me that it’s all about sharing our experiences and pictures with people all over the world….but you’re wrong!
It’s as easy as that.
No matter what you think online, it’s wrong.
It doesn’t matter how many facts you have to back it up, it’s wrong.
If you take the road that it’s your opinion, and thus, can’t be wrong, someone will promptly point out that in their opinion you’re wrong, and because you just said an opinion can’t be wrong, they’re right, and if you go back on that you’re a hypocrite and even more wrong.

…confusing, isn’t it?

There’s only one sure-fire way to avoid getting into arguments on the internet…stay off of the internet.

Yes, I know, some people will say that you can avoid getting into arguments by only talking to a select number of people and only saying non-confrontational things.
Yeah, well, guess what?
That’s right.  They’re wrong.
No matter what you say on the internet, no matter how innocent or nice it is, it is confrontational to somebody out there.
As far as a select group of people…let’s face it, we all know assholes.
We don’t think of them as assholes.
We’ll even defend them against other people.
So, yeah, even select groups have assholes.
But they’re OUR assholes.

The internet offers endless possibilities of wonder, education, and entertainment.
Never forget that.
Just remember that no matter where you go there will be packs of people waiting to argue, like feral dogs waiting for you to expose a soft spot that they can bite.
Don’t let that discourage you.
Let them go on for a bit.
They can tell you that you’re wrong as often as they want.
Is it really going to change how you feel though?
Will arguing with them actually change their minds?
Remember, their goal isn’t to be right, they gain their victories by your being wrong, which is how they feel superior to you.
Arguing just gives them exactly what they want.
And you can’t really win an argument with a person like that.
It’s easier to prove someone else may be wrong than it is to prove that you are right.
There’s usually thousands of ways to be wrong, but only a few ways to be right.
They have the numbers drastically stacked in their favor.
And that’s how they spend their time.

My advice for when you find yourself in these situations and the attacker won’t back off?
Simply say  “Oh my god, you’re right.  You, considering how much you know, you should write for Wikipedia.”
They’ll be so satisfied with their apparent victory that by the time they realized that what you said was really a thinly veiled insult, you’ll be long gone

Good luck, and Happy Trails!

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2 Responses to You Got To Know When To Hold Them, Know When To Fold Them…

  1. Len says:

    The one guy who could probably say “I invented the internet” (His nickname is “The Father of the Internet”) Vinton Cerf, said this about Al Gore and inventing the Internet:

    Vinton Cerf – “Al Gore actually deserves a lot of credit. In about 1986, he started asking questions like, ‘Why don’t we take these supercomputers and these optical fiber networks and put them together. Would that do anything’ Well, guess what That eventually turned into the National Science Foundation Network, which became a core element of the Internet.”

    Mr. Cerf’s Bona Fides are not in doubt.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vint_Cerf

    (quoting wikipedia…I know!)

    And Here, have some more:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_accuracy

    And Al Gore never said he invented the internet…

    That is a conservative canard:

    http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.asp

    He may in fact be, “Looney Tunes”…I could not find that in the DSM V however.

    Probably should Fold’em at this point.

    You lose the internets today and have officially been trolled.

    assalamualaikum…

  2. Len, first, thank you for taking the time to read this.
    As well as actually putting thought into your reply.

    However, as for Mr Gore’s mental state, “Looney Tunes” is not actual mental health jargon.
    Most of my readers wouldn’t understand that he’s at least a 300.1 Adjustment Disorder (NonSpec), especially after losing the election.

    But, I should also thank you for proving my point.
    There are many ways to be wrong on the internet.
    Thank you for proving me right. 😉

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